Marriage Requires Hard Work

This afternoon my wife and I went on a hike. We found a wonderful park in the Boston suburbs. As we walked along the trail we noticed something very special. There were a number of small walking bridges over the streams in this park. The bridges were well made. And that meant someone put a lot of time into building the bridges.

We often think that a marriage will grow automatically. But just as someone took the time to build those beautiful walking bridges, so you must put in the time to make sure your marriage grows and develops in a positive manner. In other words, marriage requires hard work.

When a couple comes to me for help they usually do not know how to maintain a good marriage. At this point it's just a matter of education. I will then teach them from the Bible how to solve their problems. Within a few weeks they will once again experience joy in their relationship.

But sometimes a couple will come to me for help. Down deep inside they do not want to do the hard work. This is evident by their refusal to do the homework assignments. By the fifth session there is no improvement. They may even be a little angry with me. They thought if they just came to counseling their marriage would automatically improve. But they failed to understand an important truth. Marriage requires hard work.

Years ago I served as pastor at a church in North Dakota. As a city boy from the east coast I sometimes felt out of place. I did not always understand their culture. But every year something happened which brought great joy to our lives. Every year someone in our church or community celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary.

Please understand you don't maintain a good marriage for 50 years without hard work. Such hard work requires continuing education. You want to learn from the scriptures how to maintain a good marriage. You want to learn how best to love, help, and encourage your spouse.

If you do not know how to maintain a good marriage look around you in your church, family, and community for people who have a successful marriage. Look for a couple who has maintain Ask them to explain what they did to maintain a good marriage. Then commit yourself to doing the hard work to improve your marriage.

Dan Korzep is the teaching pastor at Christian Bible Church in Methuen, Ma. He has been in the ministry for thirty years. He has a BS in Sociology from Shepherd University, and a Master's of Divinity from the Reformed Episcopal Seminary. He is married and has five children.